Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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