i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
