Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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