Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
