I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My ass is underappreciated
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
