Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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