I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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