dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
