He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He shit in the fireplace
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