I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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