i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
