I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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