there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
