My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
