Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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