omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this just has baby written all over it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
