I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
