i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
