i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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