I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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