I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
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I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
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Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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