Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Randomize
