The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
