I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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