Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize