Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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