My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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