whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
