I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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