it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Farmville is her only friend.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
