i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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