my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
