This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
