belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
