we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
