Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
