Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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