dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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