Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize