so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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