Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
