Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
