I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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