I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize