i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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