Me too!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
