sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
