so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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