remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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