Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
