We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
