The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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