you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
