I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
